He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
