But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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