So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
