Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
and you fell through a lawn chair
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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