so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
