Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
