If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
