Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Randomize