i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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