$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
