I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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