I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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