the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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