you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
