in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
my liver is dry heaving
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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