I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
