It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
false alarm. still invincible.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
