Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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