Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
