I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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