as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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