"it" just moved
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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