Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize