elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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