I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
