need another drink. this is the easiest way
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
