Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
