No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
