a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
