Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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