he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
