When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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