everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
