So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
