Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
