How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
