Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
