I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
