how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
