OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
