:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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