How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
