Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
