Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
