Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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