Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
