i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Randomize
