There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
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