i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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