omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
