haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
