im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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