what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
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