im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
