He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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