I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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