what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
