Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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