i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i would punch a child for taco bell
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
