I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
