Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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