he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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