I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
