i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I have already put on my inside pants.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize