does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
