Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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