Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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