I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
